Kuldip Maity

 

Aggression is often mistaken for strength in conflict situations. Many believe that showing dominance or force will lead to quicker resolutions. However, in reality, aggression usually derails the process of conflict resolution. It creates barriers, damages relationships, and leads to poor decision-making.

Aggression triggers defensive reactions. When one party behaves aggressively, the other will respond in kind. This creates a cycle of escalation where both sides are focused on winning rather than solving the problem. Instead of cooling down the situation, aggression adds fuel to the fire. Tensions rise, and the original issue is often buried under personal hostility.

Effective conflict resolution relies heavily on open communication. Both sides must express their needs, concerns, and possible compromises. Aggression interrupts this flow. When one party uses anger, threats, or intimidation, the other feels unsafe to speak honestly. Silence replaces dialogue. Misunderstandings multiply. Without clear communication, reaching a fair and lasting decision becomes almost impossible.

Aggressive behaviour signals disrespect and disregard for the other party's opinions. This damages trust instantly. Once trust is broken, parties become suspicious. They doubt the intentions behind every word and action. In such a climate, cooperation weakens. Without trust, even the most reasonable solutions are rejected out of fear or resentment.

In conflict resolution, the real aim should be to address the issue, not to attack the individuals involved. Aggression blurs this line. Personal attacks replace constructive criticism. Participants start focusing on defending their dignity rather than solving the problem. This shift makes it harder to explore creative solutions. The conflict becomes personal and toxic, making decision-making slow and biased. Aggressive individuals tend to dominate conversations. They talk over others, ignore different viewpoints, and insist on their way. This behaviour discourages listening and learning. Important information is missed. When decisions are made without fully understanding the situation, they are often flawed and short-sighted.

Aggression sometimes delivers quick results, especially when one party has overwhelming power. However, the long-term damage is significant. Relationships are strained. Reputation suffers. The groundwork for future cooperation is destroyed. In business, politics, and personal life, maintaining long-term alliances is often more valuable than winning a single conflict. Aggression sacrifices future opportunities for short-term victories.

Good conflict resolution often requires collaboration. Parties must work together, sometimes even creatively, to find solutions that meet everyone's needs. Aggression destroys the spirit of collaboration. It sets up a win-lose mindset where compromise is seen as a weakness. Without collaboration, solutions are one-sided, temporary, and often unfair. This leads to future conflicts and ongoing resentment.

 

 Coming back to our discussion on conflict management.

Conflict is a part of life. When everything else falls apart, compromise is one of the most used tools in resolving conflict. But how far should a person go when compromising? Is there a clear line between a healthy compromise and an unhealthy one?

Compromise, at its core, is about mutual adjustment. It means each side gives up a part of its demand to reach a solution both can accept. It is not about winning or losing. It is about maintaining peace and understanding. In many cases, compromise helps people move past disputes without dragging them out or turning them into major issues.

Compromise builds trust and cooperation. No two people will always agree. In the workplace, compromise can help meet deadlines, share responsibilities, and work with different opinions.

However, compromise should not be endless. There is a point at which it stops being healthy and starts becoming harmful. When one person keeps giving in while the other does not budge, it creates an imbalance. Over time, the one who always adjusts may feel overlooked or taken for granted. This builds resentment. Instead of resolving the conflict, it creates a new one—internal frustration or emotional exhaustion.

Certain things should not be compromised. Self-respect is one of them. No argument is worth making a person feel small or unworthy. Core values are another. These are the beliefs that define who a person is. If someone is pushed to act against their core values for the sake of peace, the cost is too high. Mental health is also non-negotiable. If compromising constantly brings stress or anxiety, it may be better to walk away. Ethical or legal lines should never be crossed to make others happy. Safety and basic rights must also be protected at all times.

It is also important to understand the difference between compromise and sacrifice. Compromise involves both sides making adjustments. Sacrifice usually means one side gives up entirely. Conflict resolution becomes unhealthy if one person keeps sacrificing their needs or rights. It can damage self-worth and lead to long-term dissatisfaction.

To ensure a compromise works well, one must find the right balance. This starts with setting clear personal boundaries. Know what you can bend and what you cannot. Communication is also key. Be honest about your position and listen to the other side as well. Fairness should be the goal.

A good compromise leaves both sides feeling heard, not defeated. Being assertive without being rude can help you express your views without triggering a defensive reaction. And it’s always smart to revisit the outcome later. If the compromise didn’t work out as expected, you can learn from it for next time.

 

Subho Noboborsho. Greetings for the Bengali New Year.

I have long thought of the significance of having multiple calendars in a single country. India, known for its cultural richness, is also unique in how it tracks time. Unlike many countries that follow a single calendar system, India uses multiple calendars side by side. These include the Gregorian (used officially), the Vikram Samvat, the Shaka Samvat, Hijri, Bengali, Tamil, and several regional calendars. While this diversity reflects the country’s inclusive nature, it also presents certain challenges, especially in financial and administrative areas.

One of the strongest points in favour of multiple calendars is how they mirror India’s diversity. This creates a landscape where festivals such as Diwali, Eid, Christmas, Baisakhi, and Onam coexist. Each is based on a different calendar, yet all are celebrated widely. This strengthens the idea of unity in diversity, a principle on which India is built.

Moreover, calendars are not just about dates. They carry centuries-old traditions, rituals, and cultural practices. By using their calendars, communities preserve these practices. They guide traditional ceremonies, crop planting, and religious activities.

Only recently have Western countries started embracing indigenous and alternative systems to honor native cultures. India, however, has been doing this naturally for centuries.

Even though different communities follow different calendars, sharing celebrations helps foster mutual respect. The awareness of each other’s time-keeping systems builds inclusivity. Agricultural communities in different regions use solar or lunar-based systems that align with seasonal changes in their areas. This decentralisation can be more relevant than a universal calendar in many day-to-day matters.

But having multiple calendars comes with its challenges. The biggest issue with multiple calendars lies in finance and administration. India uses the Gregorian calendar for official and financial matters. However, traditional businesses, especially in smaller towns and rural areas, may follow a regional calendar for their accounting year. This leads to confusion during audits, tax filing, or financial reporting. For example, while local businesses might align with their regional calendar, when all these firms are required to follow April–March (Gregorian) for tax purposes, discrepancies often arise.

When people refer to dates from their traditional calendars without a corresponding Gregorian date, it creates confusion. This is especially true in rural areas or among older populations. In official communication, conversion is often necessary, which adds an extra step and potential for error. Businesses dealing with international clients must follow the Gregorian calendar. However, when Indian vendors or clients work based on a regional calendar, date mismatches can cause missed deadlines or misunderstandings.

Even for policymakers, creating uniform plans becomes harder when regional calendars follow their own pace. Educating people on calendar conversions and encouraging businesses to sync their accounts with the Gregorian fiscal year can reduce practical challenges without erasing cultural identity.

Multiple calendars in India are a testament to its inclusive ethos. It strengthens cultural identity, supports traditional practices, and reflects the country’s pluralism. But at the same time, it demands extra coordination in finance and governance. Unlike the West, India has long embraced this layered reality and is only beginning to understand the importance of recognizing diverse time systems.

 

In conflict resolution, all parties must show empathy towards each other. However, when matters get hot, this is easier said than done. Most of the time, a mediator needs to be called in to cool off tempers.

Mediation techniques can enhance empathy in conflict resolution. A neutral mediator helps facilitate discussions by ensuring fair participation, reframing statements to reduce emotional intensity, and identifying common goals. Mediation shifts the focus from blame to resolution by guiding conversations toward compromise. It is particularly useful when conflicts are deeply rooted and emotions run high.

The patience of the mediator is key to resolving conflicts with empathy. Quick solutions may not always address the underlying issues; rushing the process can lead to resentment. Taking breaks when emotions run high, accepting that resolutions may require multiple discussions, and focusing on long-term understanding rather than immediate results are essential for meaningful conflict resolution. Patience prevents impulsive reactions that may worsen the situation.

A collaborative mindset helps find solutions that work for all parties involved. Rather than viewing the conflict as a battle to be won, a mediator should help individuals see it as a shared problem, requiring joint effort. While moderating, they should seek solutions that meet mutual needs and encourage teamwork rather than competition, thus ensuring that both sides feel satisfied with the outcome. Collaboration turns conflicts into opportunities for growth and deeper understanding.

Self-awareness plays a vital role in ensuring empathy. To improve interactions, the moderator should ask probing questions to help individuals reflect on their biases, emotional triggers, and communication styles. Being mindful of how personal reactions impact others allows for adjustments in behaviour, leading to more understanding conversations. When individuals recognize their flaws and limitations, they become more open to different perspectives.

Empathy can also be cultivated through exercises that enhance emotional connection. Role-playing scenarios that switch perspectives help individuals understand different viewpoints. Storytelling allows participants to relate to each other’s struggles, while group discussions encourage shared experiences. Such activities make it easier to build emotional connections and foster greater understanding in conflict situations. The mediator must actively use these techniques.

Acknowledging efforts to listen and understand, appreciating constructive contributions, and reinforcing collaborative problem-solving help in promoting empathetic behaviour. People are more likely to continue engaging in positive interactions when they feel valued for their attempts to resolve conflicts with understanding. Acknowledging diversity in communication helps in fostering inclusivity and mutual respect.

Positive reinforcement encourages empathy-driven interactions.

In complex conflicts, seeking guidance from professional mediators can be beneficial. Professional counsellors and mediators offer objective perspectives, teach effective communication strategies, and guide parties toward resolution. Professional involvement ensures that conflicts are handled fairly, focusing on long-term solutions rather than temporary fixes.

Whether through mediation, communication techniques, or cultural sensitivity, empathy transforms conflicts into opportunities for growth and mutual respect.

 

As mentioned in the last blog, empathy plays a crucial role in resolving conflicts. It enables individuals to understand the emotions, perspectives, and motivations of others, leading to meaningful dialogue and effective solutions. In this blog, I will discuss some key methods for fostering empathy in conflict resolution.

Active listening is one of the most effective ways to foster empathy. It involves fully concentrating on the speaker, understanding their message, and responding thoughtfully. This requires maintaining eye contact, avoiding interruptions, and paraphrasing key points to confirm understanding. Asking questions and summarizing what was said also helps in making the speaker feel heard. When individuals feel acknowledged, hostility decreases, and constructive dialogue becomes possible.

Emotional awareness is another important factor. Recognizing and managing emotions before responding prevents escalation. Individuals should recognize their emotions, observe the body language and tone of others, and manage their reactions. Understanding emotional triggers helps in de-escalating tense situations and creates space for logical problem-solving.

We should ask ourselves how we would feel in the other person’s position. Understanding the background and experiences shaping the other person’s views makes it easier to acknowledge their concerns, even when disagreements exist. This ability to put oneself in another’s shoes fosters mutual respect and collaboration.

Nonviolent communication (NVC), developed by Marshall Rosenberg, is a structured approach to expressing thoughts and emotions without blame. It consists of four steps: observation, where individuals state facts without judgment; feelings, where they express their emotions honestly; needs, where they identify the underlying reasons for their feelings; and requests, where they propose constructive solutions. This method helps focus on problem-solving rather than assigning blame, making it a useful tool for resolving conflicts.

The tone of communication has a significant influence on how messages are received. Speaking with a calm, neutral, or warm tone reduces defensiveness and encourages open discussion. Using a moderate pace, avoiding sarcasm, and steering clear of aggressive language ensures that conversations remain productive rather than confrontational. A calm demeanor fosters trust and helps in diffusing tensions.

Encouraging open communication is essential in conflict resolution. When individuals suppress their thoughts, misunderstandings grow. Creating a safe space for discussion, setting ground rules for respectful dialogue, and allowing each party to express concerns freely ensures that all voices are heard. When people feel safe, they are more likely to engage in constructive problem-solving rather than defensive arguments.

Empathy can also be cultivated through exercises that enhance emotional connection. Role-playing scenarios that switch perspectives help individuals understand different viewpoints. Storytelling enables participants to connect with one another’s struggles, while group discussions foster shared experiences. Such activities make it easier to build emotional connections and foster greater understanding in conflict situations.

In collaborative problem-solving, the moderator also plays a crucial role in fostering empathy. While the above methods apply to everyone in the group, there are exclusive methods for the moderator. Let us discuss that in my next blog.